


Break and Mold

by wiltedartist



Series: Diana Shepard [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 22:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wiltedartist/pseuds/wiltedartist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why didn't he realize it until she asked him herself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break and Mold

You'll never find a harder woman than Commander Shepard.

Hardly a woman to most people- Shepard is an icon. A heroic symbol of what humanity can be. And she doesn't seem to care at all, “Let's just get the job done,” she says in regards to interviews and praise.

So he's nervous while he's planning to be with her. By all accounts, human anatomy is soft and vulnerable. He wonders while he's reading this how humans survive in space with their soft bodies and only average tendency towards biotics. Then he thinks of Shepard, and that this is supposed to be Shepard. The woman looks like she would be hard glass to the touch. Beautiful? Most certainly, but frighteningly sharp. 

She's his best friend. His damned Commander. A human. A woman. Living- 

And that's the kicker, the reason he is considering this. Because two years ago she died, and it proved something to all of them. This bulletproof woman was touchable. Able to be killed. Human. He remembered the sting even now. 

'What a shame' had been his thought. And he'd felt like shit for ever thinking that. What a shame? More than a shame. A travesty, that the universe would repay selflessness and sacrifice with death. It was her death that triggered the change in his life, though he'd never admit it. He watched the bastards sweep away everything just like her life, her heroism, had been swept away- and he knew he had to change it. Change this rotten world somehow. And he did.

For awhile.

But right as Sidonis destroyed his squad and he thought all hope lost, she comes right back into his life. And it's easy to forget she isn't infallible and immortal sometimes. Then he recalls Liara's sobs and the confirmation of her death. And that he didn't react. That he didn't acknowledge it the way he should have. Even Wrex had left dents in Tuchanka rubble the size of his forehead.

But Garrus Vakarian did as a soldier would and accepted the loss. 

The guilt wasn't just over a friend. It didn't just sit and wait. It festered. He realized one day it wasn't exactly guilt- it was the feeling of losing someone dear to you. His best friend. His commander. 

A woman he had never bothered to see as a woman. 

An officer who was just an officer. A constant figure in his life who didn't need a glance from him, or merit one. And he had a lot of excuses when the topic came to mind- she was human. She was a Spectre, the commander, in a time of battle. And he realizes this wouldn't bother him at all if he simply felt nothing. But he did.

And he thinks, it's no use, she's dead now.

She's dead.

But then she wasn't. And here he was now. She wanted to be with him. And he was left confronting his feelings for the woman he had never realized he cared about.

To a turian, respect is king. Command, duty, servitude- these are integral pieces of society. And he means it when he says there is no one he respects more than Shepard. There isn't. Not in the damn galaxy. 

And he thinks about it, as he reads the books, and knows that Shepard is not a weak willed woman. For her, it must be just as hard to press on in a romantic relationship while fighting. He hadn't been the only one not to say a word. Did it really require her dying for there to be something there?

He shuts down the pamphlets, ignores the vids, and he knows that he knows enough. Because there might be a rough, scarred, bitter turian inside of him- but the one woman he respects more than his own father sees something different. And maybe, together, they can both see the better sides of each other. Not the angry bitter turian. Not the once dead hero of the galaxy.

He buries the loss deep down, and knows that at least for now, she is alive again. 

And there is still a little time for them.


End file.
